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Over the years many members of the Moorhouse Marauders have done some pretty stupid things - but hey, this guy takes the cake. He's been taking up far too much space on our Prangs page, so now he has a page on his own. He's clearly earned it!
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Ross Foster-san
Tuesday 23 April 2024, Minamisatsuma-Kasasachoakogi, Japan
You couldnt have another trip to Japan without another prang. After exiting a tunnel, our fearless Gnome got badly out of shape on the loose, downhill surface with the obvious consequences. No broken bones this time, but a complete new outfit and helmet required.
The situation prompted this verse in the post-ride ode:
The Gnome had kept his powder dry, to see how others went
But was ever laser focused on his signature event
Some sketchy surface, steep descent, it had everything he needs
Once more the human cannonball went soaring through the trees
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Ross Foster
Friday 26 November 2021, Eildon
Mountain biking on a narrow trail, our man encountered a fallen tree across the track. He took the careful option of dismounting, but in the process smashed his face into the tree.
As the blood streamed down his face he was heard to say "I'm 99% smart ... but ohhhh that 1%."
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Ross Foster
Wednesday 17 March 2021, Glen Iris
Scurrying home from tennis late at night on the electric scooter - there's only one speed, of course - the Gnome encountered an unseen pothole with his name on it. (Luckily he wasn't drunk, he'd only had a couple of beers, a few scotch's, and a bottle and a half of red.)
Fortunately his Apple watch noticed there was a problem and called the police, ambulance and fire engine who all appeared in moments - and our illustrious Gnome was carted off to the Alfred for many weeks of repair and re-hab.
This actually turned out to be a pretty decent prang, with significant consequences, and leading our fearless dentist to declare "I'm a changed man - from now on I'm going to tell Di I love her EVERY day". |
Ross Foster
Thursday 1 August 2019, Jardin, Colombia, South America
Another country ..... another prang. This time the Gnome did a real number on himself while descending one of Colombia's famous mountains. The following ALL apply:
- 57 km/hr
- Broke Rule 1 and hit bike in front
- Skidded across road - head first, upside down, into ditch
- Smashed helmet
- iPhone in back pocket worn down to half thickness
- Unconscious
- Ambulance
- Hospital
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Ross Foster
Sunday 25 November 2018, Cheltenham
Its usually no trouble passing on the inside of a car approaching a red light .... but not if the car is turning left into the service road.
On this occasion the Gnome has come away relatively unscathed. The precious BMC, though, was seriously scathed. |
Ross Foster-san
Wednesday 31 October 2018, Yusuhara, Japan
Another country, another prang. The Fearless Gnome is at it again, this time trying to squeeze between the peloton and the armco on a narrow road .... just as a car came the other way. (Not his fault, of course.) |
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Ross Foster
Thursday 13 September 2018, St Andrews
With the steely determination only a gnome can muster, our hero headed straight into the path of an oncoming truck - sure he'd be able to lift the Biggest Prang prize this time.
However, his aim failed him and he went off into the gravel on the wrong side of the road, removing all the skin off both arms but sadly no broken bones. |
Ross Foster
Monday 2 July 2018, Venasque, France
In yet another effort to lift the coveted 'I've Had the Biggest Prang' trophy from Kermode's mantelpiece, the Gnome saw an opportunity on a steep descent in France and took off through a gap in the armco. The subsequent flight landed halfway down the mountain leaving our Gnome severly battered and bruised, but without enough damage to take the crown.
Another failed attempt.
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Ross Foster
Sunday 15 March 2015, Sandringham
With an unassailable lead in the 'I've Had The Most Prangs' competition, the club Gnome decided to have a crack at that other sought-after prize - the 'I've Had the Biggest Prang' title.
After a thorough study of this page he decided all that was needed was to gazump Kermode's effort of June 2012, and, with that in mind, he clipped Gordo's wheel on Beach Road whilst doing a reported 'low-50s' - didn't get killed in the crash, and spent a week in the Alfred with a broken collarbone and eight broken ribs. Imagine his chagrin when the Prangs Committee decided that even though Foster's eight ribs beat Kermode's six, and it was one-all in the collarbones, Kermode's busted pelvis counted for more than the two extra ribs and therefore Kermode retains the crown.
Expect another attempt from Foster soon.
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Ross Foster
Sunday 18 January 2015, Caulfield
Carefully avoiding the tram tracks, the club gnome forgot to watch the rest of the road, hit an indentation and the rest is history - plenty of skin removed from elbow and hands. The best part was watching him at breakfast trying to pretend it wasn't hurting.
Later update:
10 days later when the left lower arm had turned black, x-rays revealed the arm was actually broken at the elbow. Excellent.
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Ross Foster
Saturday 25 June 2011, Luz Ardiden, France
Descending one of France's famous mountains, our intrepid Gnome spotted a pothole in the road as he sped around a tight corner. His immediate thought was "Gee, I better make sure I miss that pothole".
You know the rest .... |
Ross Foster
Saturday 30 May 2009, Balnarring
Tooling along through the grass for no apparent reason (despite there being a perfectly serviceable road nearby), our hero managed to locate a hidden pothole to ride into. An excellent broken wrist, a couple of days in hospital, many weeks off work - all in all a first-class outcome. |
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Ross Foster
Friday 5 May 2006, Kew
Its hard to blame the dog - Foster riding silently, by himself, in the dark, no lights, and not keeping a proper lookout. At least the dog (whilst nursing its broken ribs) can take solace in the fact that Foster's collarbone was destroyed by his impact with the tarmac. |
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Ross Foster
Thursday 14 August 2003, Malvern
Riding home from work, trying to make an illegal right hand turn,
impaled the car coming towards him
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Ross Foster
Wednesday 15 May 2002, Hawthorn
Riding home from work, hit a dog and went over the handlebars |
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Ross Foster
Sunday 22 April 2001, Beaumaris
Riding in a pack on Beach Road, clipped the wheel of the bike in
front, despite the events of two days ago
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Ross Foster
Friday 20 April 2001, Kew
Clipped Matt Naughton's back wheel on the Kew Boulevard - despite
preaching "you must never overlap" |
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Ross Foster
Friday 23 March 2001, Alexandra
Trying to do a "mono-cycle" while heavily laden, giving
new meaning to the term "smart arse"
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