France, July 2018
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King Gnome surveys his land in search of new places to crash |
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The Gnome has outdone himself this year. Sick of losing everyone on the last tour, he has dressed the team appropriately. But - question number 1 - How are we all going to fit on one bike? |
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Like every pro team - diet is the key. You have to balance the pastry with the wine to exact proportions, otherwise you are going to leave it all on the road ..... literally. |
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To the victors the spoils. The grid girls in this town were great, and so accommodating. When one of them crouched down in front of Mongo, he didn't know whether to laugh or cry! |
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"Have you seen the Gnome, Buzz? Hang on, he's gone over the wall" |
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Buzz to the group - "has anyone seen a toilet?" |
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Buzz and Corrigan were posing as The Thinker while this nice artist drew their portrait |
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Native to the region, the 'Wherethefuckarewe Tribe' often congregates under street signs praying to the SatNav Gods |
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These quiet French backroads are a joy to ride on, you can ride for miles without seeing a car. So different to Melbourne. |
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We are proud to announce that Gordo has been named the Cleo Batchelor of the Year. Here we see the stud modelling the new 'Gut Strap' - this thing is brilliant, it turns your six pack into a keg and your tits into tummy warmers. The girls are going crazy for this look. |
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Here's the stud modelling a new range of clothes called SKNAHT. Its a popular Norwegien brand. |
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This pool was a lovely colour before the boys jumped in. Maybe next time we should use the toilet before entering? |
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Buzz, sick of Gordo getting all the modelling jobs, strikes the "I'm open for business" pose. |
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Hey Rosco, did you see that pose Buzz struck up at the pool? |
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The guys have a sexy legs competition. Corrigan won it on the basis that his feet were genuinely 'one foot long'. |
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The Gnome ponders about love, as he took this chip off his shoulder. |
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Seriously Buzz - its your phone, you work it out. |
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Bloody hell! They wonder why Gordo won the Batchelor of the Year contest?? |
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Sick of trying to compete with his looks, they just put him out the front and used him as 'chick bait'. |
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They hid this one at the back ... |
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We found it! This Al Huez bloke has a wonderful little town. |
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Determined to find more colour for his outfit, Rosco wrapped himself in this nice piece of colourful material. |
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Mongo finally found a drink that was the same colour as his shirt. |
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This happened every time they came to an intersection - 45 minutes with the maps |
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Uh oh, another intersection - the Gnome calls another team meeting |
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The only French words this bloke understands. |
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"Hey guys - I found Rosco - he went over here" |
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Here's a pictorial joke: An Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scott, a Russian and Buzz get on a train. Buzz gets bored and decides to tell everyone the story of his life in immigration detention as a Hungarian immigrant. What happens next? |
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This poor French sheila, sitting in a park, minding her own business, then BAM! |
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Gordo dropped his personality on the ground, and everyone nicely helped him pick it up. Judging by Judy's grip, it isn't very big .... |
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As you can see by the looks of the three wise monkeys, they were lost and broke. Clearly they were blaming each other as well. |
